I wanted to post something the hubs wrote about his dear friend. He and a number of friends came together to create a treasure for David's children.....a collection of stories to be shared with them as they grow up and long to know more about their dad.
Below is "his story" about David.
I met David for the first time in sixth or seventh grade, at Arkansas Baptist School. The earliest clear memory I have of him is his mom dropping him off at my house some afternoon. I was already outside in the driveway shooting baskets, and here came Beasley bounding down the driveway in this bright red, white and blue matching shorts and shirt with “RUGGER” across the front (I still have no idea what that means). It was pretty clear from the beginning that we were going to hit it off.
David's personality was infectious; everybody that met him liked him instantly and wanted to be around him more. That was probably my primary reason for wanting to be his friend back then, at least initially – because I was much more introverted, is was so much easier for me to blend into social situations when Dave was around. You were just instantly comfortable around Beasley because he was always interested in everyone around him being happy.
In our school, if you wanted to play sports, that pretty much meant you played basketball. Not having been blessed with exceptional (or average, really) speed, skill, quickness, height, strength, ball handling, or basketball sense, I had earnestly sought to develop an outside jump shot – that way I would at least have a role on the team. A lot of good that did...Beasley was unbelievable from the outside, and it quickly became apparent that I was also going to be, at best, the second-best shooter on the team (not that I was ever that good). We ran what Coach called a “3-2” offense, designed to get one guy on the wing to move across the lane, under the basket, off a double screen, and ending up in the corner for the open jumpshot – I can still hear Coach yelling “Fly Beas! Fly Beas!” from the sideline, and it still ticks me off that the play was always run for him. Would it have been so bad to yell “Fly White!” just once?
That doesn't mean I stopped trying. David spent the night at my house dozens of times in those days, and we always stayed outside in the driveway, under the lights shooting baskets, well past midnight – either playing “21” or shooting free throws to see who could make the most in a row. His record was 41. I spent hours and hours, both with him, and alone, trying to beat it – I even bought one of those “automatic rebounder” things that kicks the ball back to you so you don't have to chase it down all the time – and I never did. (I think I might have told him I did, though.)
David loved skiing, and I'm proud to say I introduced him to it. Our senior year in high school (1991) we went with my family on a trip that happened to coincide with the state basketball tournament; there are some that have probably still not forgiven him for missing that, but he never regretted going. He picked it up right away, and it was the first of many ski trips I would go on with Dave. I have so many images of him on those trips – riding up the T-bar lift for the first time (well, trying to); falling face first, out of control, over what I thought was literally a cliff but was fortunately only steep slope; sharing a huge plate of nachos at Gassy Thompson's prior to going out at Keystone for several hours of night skiing (in retrospect, wasn't a great idea).
After high school we went to separate colleges, but stayed in touch, getting together over the summers and over holidays, besides those ski trips. It was a busy time for all of us, getting away from home for the first time, with tons of changes in all of our lives – but David was always careful to maintain the bonds that he had always had, especially with his family. He continually lived out what was important and set an example for all of us as he made sure his family was taken care of, even though he wasn't at home anymore.
After we graduated in 1995, we both went through a couple of years where we weren't sure what was going to happen next, and during that time he ended up at Baylor where I was and where we both attended graduate school. We lived together for a year and a half – for the first year, with two guys to whom I had become close in my undergraduate days (Clint Barkley and Brent Combs), and after that just me and Beasley. I had always considered him to be the brother that I never had, and living with him during that time couldn't have seemed more natural. We made some incredibly strong friendships during that relatively short amount of time, bonds that are still strong today; I have countless memories of all of us going out to eat, going to a Rangers game in Arlington, country music concerts (I remember especially George Strait, Lonestar, and David Lee Murphy, for some reason), and (of course) a ski trip.
I remember the day in the spring of 1997 that I got into medical school. I was living in Dallas at the time because I had to complete an internship, and Beasley was still in Waco, living with one of our good friends, Snehal Doshi. After I called my parents with the news, my next call was to David (who had been, at the time, applying to dental school). I'll never forget his reaction – it was genuine happiness for me – and the next thing he said, which was “Well, now you've one-upped me.” David always had this way of being fiercely competitive, without forgetting that there are many things more important, like being a Christlike brother. (Of course, very soon afterwards, he got his acceptance letter, and I tried to be just as congratulatory while reminding him that I'd gotten mine first.)
Off we went our separate ways again, but again continued to stay close. After a semester, he decided that he didn't want to spend his working days staring at people's molars, so he went into sales. I can't think of a more appropriate line of work for someone as personable, likable, and outgoing as David. He was destined to excel in any career that involved meeting new people and making a good first impression. Over the years he changed jobs a few times but always stayed in a field where he could meet and interact with new people, and everywhere he went he made lives richer and happier through his presence in them.
I met my future wife soon after I started medical school, and I remember wanting her to meet Beasley right away because I knew they'd love each other too. Of course, they did, and I was glad because it was important to me that each approved of the other; once that was confirmed, I knew I was all set. At our wedding I only had four groomsman, and had always wanted my dad to be my best man. If for some reason he couldn't do it, there's no question it would have been Dave.
After medical school, Meredith and I took off to Rochester, New York for residency, and it wasn't long before David came all the way up there for a visit. Once (soon after 9/11) we went to New York City, and another time we went over to Toronto, Canada. On that trip we took him to the top of the CN Tower (one of the tallest structures in the world) – it has a glass floor on one of the top floors, so you can stand on the glass and look all the way down to the street below. David wasn't a fan of that. He did, however, love the fact that there were street vendors all over the place, selling hot dogs, ice cream cones, waffle cakes, and all that junk – he never passed one up without getting something. “Energy food,” he said, every time.
He met Sabrina not long after that, and it was obvious he was smitten; I knew because for the first time in our lives, I couldn't get him to make plans for another visit or a ski trip with me. All he wanted to do was be with her. By that time I had been running a fantasy football league for a few years, and I had asked him to help with some of the administrative duties (I'd gotten busy in residency). He had initially agreed to help, but because of this new intrusion into his life, he hadn't put in as much time doing this task as I had wanted. My priorities completely out of order, I foolishly literally yelled at him once for not updating the league website as quickly as I thought it needed to be done. He responded with....nothing. No anger, no putting me in my place, which I absolutely deserved at the time. A couple of weeks later, he called and asked me to be the best man in his wedding. Who does that?
Sabrina was without a doubt the best thing to happen to David. Because of some pre-wedding shenanigans (she can fill you in later), she didn't like me too much at first (she would deny this, but I know it's true). However, once she saw the bond that David had with me and his other longtime friends, she graciously accepted us into her circle. David had an amazing ability to always love unconditionally, always pour himself into the lives of those he cared about, and (this is the really amazing part) he could do this, at will, to as many people as he wanted without making any of the people to whom he was already close feel the least bit neglected.
Not long after that we started growing our families; I had two daughters, who I love dearly; however, I had always said that I was only going to have boys, and of course, David knew that. When Sabrina became pregnant with their first child, it gave David supreme satisfaction that his first child was going to be a boy. Benjamin was born about a week before Meredith and I had our third child, our son, Garrett. David reminded me often that he had a boy first – he derived much satisfaction that he “won”. Competitive like always, without a malicious bone in his body. For me, I was thrilled that my son is so close in age to David's, and I loved to think about the two of them growing up close and developing a friendship like he and I had.
In recent years we have kept in touch largely through our fantasy football league, in which we have played together for 11 years now (his overall record is 57-79-1, with no Championships, to 93-66 and 3 titles for me, by the way). For the past three years we've spent a weekend in the fall together – the Whites, the Beasleys, the Doshis, and our friend Doug Helton. Our wives have graciously tolerated us as we grilled steaks, smoked ribs, watched football, played poker, and laughed ceaselessly the whole time. Besides that annual meeting, there was the occasional email, phone call, or visit; for several months a couple of years ago, Dave, myself, Snehal and Doug played online Risk over and over – this got pretty heated, and was probably the closest we ever came to having a true falling out, actually. We decided after a few months that maybe we shouldn't play that anymore.
We didn't have our “Football Season Kickoff Weekend” this year, because Meredith and I celebrated our ten-year anniversary with a weeklong trip that conflicted with the usual weekend. We had rescheduled it for the weekend of October 2-3. The last time I talked to David was 3 weeks before he died, when he called me to tell me that he had a work thing come up, and he wasn't going to be able to come. He was genuinely disappointed, and I was too. We talked about a few other things, and hung up. There is so much more I would have said if somehow I'd known it would be the last time we would speak, until we get to the other side. At the same time, though, he knew. I know that after years and years of friendship, he knew how I felt about him.
David was more than a friend to me. I truly considered him to be my brother, only from different parents. I wouldn't have felt any differently about him had we shared the same last name. I've never known anyone like David, and it's clear to me that my life would have turned out so much differently if he hadn't been there, pushing me forward, good-naturedly competing with me, giving me someone to always try to “one-up”, even though I very rarely did. Whatever measure of success I have been able to achieve in this life, I owe so much of it to him and his presence in it. I will never understand how it fits in God's plan to take him so soon, but it is, in a small way, comforting to know that he passed from this life, instantly into the presence of both his earthly father and his Heavenly Father, both greeting him with open arms. I know they have a lot of catching up to do.
27 September 2010
Oh man...I can't imagine knowing them then
Hoopfest
A rare snowman..or snow woman I guess
NYC with Dave and the Doshi's
Toronto...just a pit stop
Our wedding...a little out of order
Before David and Sabrina's wedding...the boys with Snehal
His beautiful bride to be...their rehearsal dinner
Oh how we are going to miss you.
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